Senioritis

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he mentioned to me that his position in his organization was being terminated. He is to become one of the many casualties of the dramatic cuts to the humanitarian and development world over the last year and a half or so. I also am leaving the aid world but for other reasons. Either way, we are headed in the same direction, he earlier than I. Thankfully, his wife has a good job and provides them an income and benefits and neither of us are in dire straits as a result of these changes.

When asking about my situation, he asked if I was experiencing “senioritis”. Full disclosure, it took me a second for the word to register in my brain. He didn’t grow up in the US, but I know that he has a lot of American connections. As for me, I knew of the word, and I remember it being used many years ago in reference to those who are finishing secondary school – the phenomenon of having difficulty being motivated and focusing knowing that it’s all coming to an end before long. But I don’t remember it being used more generally. I do like the term, and I was a bit surprised when Word didn’t flag it as a misspelling. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, it has become embedded in US vernacular.

As for my response to his question, I would say that it has not been a significant issue as of yet. Strangely, my work life has been more or less business as usual. There are some modifications to my decision making as I think about what I would like to accomplish between now and September. I’m also aware that I need to be offloading some things sooner rather than later to ensure continuity after I am gone. In the evenings, I have been closing my laptop earlier than I would normally. It’s happening and I’m looking to make it as graceful as possible, not only for me but the team I am leaving behind. 

following a sofa on my way to the office in Nairobi

 

* * *

The idea of leaving the workforce, at least for now, is certainly putting my brain on overdrive. I keep telling people that it’s a mix of excitement and apprehension. My former supervisor and good friend wrote me last week. We’re similar in age and he was ejected from his job a while back. After spending a considerable amount of time looking for opportunities, he recently took on a temporary, considerably lower role in Syria. One thing that he mentioned was how nice it was that he had regained a purpose. The word “purpose” he put in all caps. He’s not one to use upper case letters recklessly, so I found it noteworthy. And then I saw another article recently providing advice on helping people find purpose in retirement. Apparently, it’s a thing.

To be honest, it hadn’t occurred to me that purpose might ever be an issue for me. I won’t be so presumptuous and say that it won’t be, but it’s possible that my situation may shield me in a way that is unlike others that may be in my position. One key difference is that I have school-age children. The friend that I just mentioned is an empty-nester and that does make a difference. Parenting inherently provides purpose if you’re doing it right. And we’ll have a kid under our roof for at least the next five years. 

I also have an endless list of ambitious plans, many of which are already underway. I have a solid faith and a wonderful family. This will provide some continuity between my life now and my life post-September. I’m sure I’ll experience some identity issues. It’s apparently normal, particularly in the early months (years?) of leaving your career. So we’ll see how it goes.

I’ve been reading some Henry David Thoreau which has been proving some inspiration related to my need to step off the treadmill of life and to learn to chill a bit more. His famous quote puts it well:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach.” – Thoreau

I realize that it’s difficult to anticipate the impact a transition like this will have, but, hopefully, no storm clouds on the horizon.

cool cloud formation as rainy season draws to a close