US for the Holidays - Part 2

The trip to Idaho began well. We started by re-mapping out what we were going to be doing and when. There are a lot of moving parts on this end of the holidays. It always works out but it takes some planning and lots of discussion.

my sister's neighborhood

The plan was to spend a couple days in Boise, pull some winter stuff out of storage, hang out with family and prepare to head up to the mountains. The morning we were to head north, however, things too a dramatic turn. Priya received a call that her dad had died. After the initial flood of emotion, we quickly changed gears. While driving near the airport, we decided that we would just go straight to the airport and see about getting her on a plane back to Louisville. The scenario that we’d already agreed to was that I stay on in Idaho with the girls and Priya would go. It made more sense for her to focus on supporting her mother and the rest of the family without distractions. I would be single dad and move forward with the Idaho plan. As it turned out, we did the right thing.

Priya (and Kinaya) before she had to return to Louisville

As hard as it was, there was an undercurrent of relief that Priya’s dad was no longer suffering. As I mentioned previously, his situation had become hard for everyone involved, not only emotionally but it was taking a physical toll on Priya’s mom as well. It was still difficult, particularly the finality of it all - the realization that he’s gone. Even sick and mostly bed-ridden, you still have a dad. And then you suddenly don’t.

new snow and my little angels

We went straight to the Delta ticket counter and explained the situation. They were quite supportive and were able to get Priya on a flight leaving within a couple hours. She would be in Louisville late the same day. Truly a blessing that it worked out so well. There was no major sorting through the bags since Priya had more or less packed her things separately by design. Very quickly we were saying some very teary goodbyes. It would only be about a week and a half but Priya had never spent that much time away from the girls before. Both sides were feeling the shock of the impending separation.

And then there were three. Soon we were out the door and heading to McCall. It was a bright, sunny day and ordinarily it would have been an exciting time to be heading up to snow country. Unfortunately the car was mostly quiet as the girls sobbed occasionally and stared out the window. Grandpa’s death and mom leaving them for a while was hitting home.

deer behind my sister's condo

To be honest, I didn’t have much time to spend grieving. Though we’d planned this out pretty well, there were a lot of details that were now coming to mind – things that I hadn’t thought about before. We generally have some separation of duties when it comes to the girls. I’m the Sherpa, driver, etc. and Priya does the packing and the organizing of the girls’ clothes, medicine, etc. Though at home we share all the key duties, Priya and the nanny carry most of the load. Suddenly I was carrying the load.

Mexican food!

I have a tremendous amount of respect for single parents, particularly after this recent trip. The biggest thing I noticed was the lack of time to do anything for myself. Single parents know this only too well. One surprise over this week and a half, however, was how much my family stepped up to help out. With all the girls’ cousins on this side of the family being grown up, holiday activities are generally not overly kid friendly. We’re the only ones with children and we usually just need to figure it out and/or one of us opts out. It’s normal and generally things work out okay. This time I was more concerned since a kids-staying-back scenario would be more problematic with only one parent.

aunt and uncle stepping up

view from my sister's house

steaks and family

checking out their new land

Without exception, each of my siblings did something special to help out. Not only them but other family members as well. My sister and brother-in-law Brett were huge in both allowing me to have some ski time but he also spent a couple hours helping with the ski lessons.

yep, dad got to ski

As a result, things worked out pretty well. The girls were bathed regularly, wore clean clothes and (most of the time) had their hair brushed. They might have had a few more sweets than they would have had otherwise but dad occasionally needed some assistance in enticing the little ones to behave.

my little skiers

After our time in the mountains, we headed south to hang out with their Idaho grandparents. I always enjoy the down time there. It’s quiet. Comforting at night to hear the lonely sound of the train passing through. I doubt that I would ever want to live there again but I do feel a strong attachment to the place, more so than I think my siblings do. In spite of my rather crazy life that has taken me all over the globe over a period of 24 or so years, I do find a strong nostalgia that draws me back.

Case in point, we even had an opportunity to stop in and take a tour of the renovated gym at my old school. For better or worse I spent a considerable amount of my youth in that place – far more than any other location except our house. It had the same somewhat musty gym smell that it had when I was in school. The floor was as impeccable as it was when I was there. In fact construction was started in 1941 just before the attack on Pearl Harbor. Bad timing, needless to say. It ended up never being due to WWII. After the war, for various reasons they never got around to completing it. I suppose it was a bit of an eyesore when I was in school. I read that someone described it as looking like an abandoned prison. But I guess we never really thought about it that much. It was a gym. It had a nice floor. It was clean. And we won a lot of basketball games inside it. What’s not to like.

girls running on their dad's old hardwood

It was renovated in 2014 and I have to say, they did a pretty good job. It kept the integrity of the old structure but gave it a nice finish. They sadly bulldozed the early 20^th century junior high school (former high school) building that was adjacent to it but at least they had the presence of mind to hang on to this one.

Later that day we had our “holiday” party. It used to be a Christmas party and was held between Christmas and New Year’s. This year it was a week after New Year’s so it needed a different name. It’s such a big family now that we can’t even do it in someone’s house. I suppose we could but we’re at least a couple dozen people and we’re rather loud (and a bit messy). We opted to hold it in a restaurant for the first time. It’s less intimate than someone’s home but it worked out pretty well and the turnout was good. Once the great-grandkids start showing up we might end up needing to rent the aforementioned gym. Very different from the cozy little days of when it was dad, mom and the five kids back in the late 60s...

 Yep, that's me with an open carry weapon. I think I had one on each side.

entertaining the girls

The day after the party it was back to Boise and thoughts were beginning to turn towards our return to Nairobi. We still needed to buy some things, though being in Nairobi we really don’t need to buy as much as we used to when we were in Burundi. I put our winter things back in storage and packed the suitcases. I tried to catch up on emails as much as I could. I don’t like returning to work and needed to make decisions about things with no background. I was behind but I figured I could catch up a bit on one of the flights. We said our goodbyes. The girls were beside themselves at the thought of meeting up with their mother in Minneapolis airport as we transited through. I’m sure they’d had enough of dad.

Priya had arrived many, many hours before we did and was waiting for us as we came out of the gate. Reminded me of the old days when people used to meet travelers as they disembarked rather than as you exit the arrivals terminal. Wonderful to have the family back together again. I think all of us were ready to get back to our routines and sleep in our own beds. I know I was.