The Wedding

In February I went to the US to attend my niece’s wedding. Admittedly it’s a lot of time and cost for such an event but in this case I needed to make it happen.

It wasn’t easy. We’d just been back in Kenya a few weeks before I turned around and headed back to the US, with a trip to Somalia in between. There were a lot of demands on my time during this brief period and I had to make some hard choices. In the end, it worked out. I was able to devote some time to work during my travels and didn’t burn too many bridges in the process.

I wrote some of this blog entry as I traveled but didn’t post anything until now. Here is the trip in a nutshell:

9 Feb.

I’m in the lounge in Nairobi waiting for my flight to the US (via Amsterdam). I have a glass of wine and my computer to keep me company. A Nigerian guy is in front of me on a video call with his wife. She’s in Lagos at some party, drinking and hanging out with friends. You can hear Bob Marley in the background. He’s particularly noisy for a business lounge. I’m not enthusiastic that the loudest guy in the place planted himself right in front of me but it’s the end of the world. As a father of two young girls, I’m used to noise. Now he’s dancing with everything from the waist up as he listens to music of his wife’s party in Nigeria. I do find it fascinating. He doesn’t have a care in the world that he’s surrounded by uptight Euro-Americans, a few of whom are trying to send him signals of their displeasure. I’m quite sure he has no idea. He and I are polar opposites. I tend to be overly concerned what people think. The sweet spot is somewhere in between.

my old city - the view from the depot

 11 Feb.

It’s Sunday. I arrived safely and with my bag. It is a bit easier to travel by yourself. People that are more sociable than I may beg to differ but for an introvert, catching up on some alone time is important. Also, when you encounter hiccups in the travel, it only falls on you and not the people you’re traveling with, particularly when it involves your children. Much easier to just go with the flow.

I’m at my sister’s (mother of the bride-to-be) place up in the mountains. The plan was to arrive on Saturday evening, go to our storage, pick up cold weather gear, drive two hours and be able to enjoy some skiing the next day. That’s not an easy feat coming off 32 hours of travel. Nonetheless, I was able to pull it off and we even fit in the skiing as planned (albeit Nordic skiing).

We’ve had a wonderful time catching up. I barely saw my sister and brother-in-law when I was in the US at Christmas so it was certainly time well spent. We’re even getting ready to have one of my brother-in-law’s famous steaks this evening. The massive effort to get to where I am now is already beginning to pay off.

 

the depot - where the wedding would take place

12 Feb. Monday

On Monday I headed back to Boise to begin taking part in the wedding preparations and also running various errands, taking advantage of my time in the US as we always do. At the outset is appeared that I had loads of time to work out and do a lot of things that I normally don’t have time for when traveling with family. Though I clearly had more time than I normally do, it was still far less than what I would have expected.

One of the biggest differences in traveling alone was at meal time. When we travel with the children we generally look for establishments with play areas. That can often mean fast food and thus culinary sacrifice. We don’t always do that but quite often, particularly if that particular day doesn’t afford much time for the kids to get out and play either due to schedule or inclement weather.

socializing before the big event

15 Feb. Thursday

The week was full of dinners with family and the standard wedding functions. The rehearsal was the first of these events taking place at the stately train depot, now retired and used for various activities such as this. It’s an impressive building that hasn’t been operational as a train station since ###. In the five or so years that I lived in Boise I had never been inside, in spite of it being one of the most prominent landmarks in the city. I suppose that I didn’t have any friends or acquaintances that would have been able to afford to get married there.

The rehearsal went smoothly and it sort of felt as though the wedding was going to happen without a hitch. Lots of work obviously went into the preparations, delegations of tasks, etc. such that people seemed pretty relaxed.

rooftop rehearsal dinner downtown Boise

Afterward the rehearsal, we were off to the rehearsal dinner downtown. It was also a place I’d never been before. It was amazing how many firsts I had on the trip in a city that I formerly called my home. Granted, I was a penniless student most of the time that I lived there so I suppose it shouldn’t be all that surprising. Going out to a restaurant, particularly downtown, would have been a luxury back in those days.

 

the groom and his men, considering the next train out of town...?

16 Feb. Friday

Wedding day consisted of running a few errands and hanging out with my brother and parents. The day wasn’t as intense as I might have guessed it would be. Even though they had hired a photographer, my habit of schlepping my camera around and taking lots of photos sort of put me in the role of a volunteer supplemental photographer. I suppose you get what you pay for. I have don’t photos for a wedding before many years ago. There isn’t as much pressure as there used to be before things went digital – wondering whether or not the photos would come out okay. There’s still some of that but I think nowadays you have a better idea as to whether or not you nailed it from the viewer. And you have better tools to clean up your mistakes.

my little niece has, in fact, grown up

In the end I got a few decent photos. For now, though, I think it’s safer for me to keep my day job.

It was a beautiful wedding with lots of beautiful people. I would hate to guess how much was invested in the whole event. Likely we’ll never know since so many people pitched in. I do know my sister and brother-in-law did much of the “heavy lifting”. Their other daughter just got engaged so they’re going to have round two soon enough. This is probably when you’re glad you only have two kids.

The reception was also in a place I’d never been to before in downtown Boise. It’s one of those wonderful historic buildings that fit the 40’s theme. The band was good. Food was good. I spoke to my niece the next day and, as I suspected, she was quite happy with how it went. I heard nothing but positive comments from people I spoke to.

 

selfie in the vintage transportation to the reception

17 Feb. Saturday

When I booked my flights late last year I wasn’t sure what was happening when during the week. Fortunately I stayed until Sunday since there was a final post-wedding event at the newlywed’s home Saturday evening. To be honest I was getting a bit burnt out of social activities but it was a good opportunity to talk to those I hadn’t been able to spend time with up to that point. It was pretty chill given that the wedding nerves were done. I bailed early given that I was traveling the next morning.

Long way to go for such an event but in retrospect, it made sense. Would have been great to have my family there but that would have made less sense given the cost, the short duration of the visit and the fact that the girls would have missed a week of school. And we all hope that the marriage is a huge success such that my wife and daughters won’t be attending a next one. The family has had a few too many “do overs”.

“A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for.”

-Grace Hopper, computer scientist and US Navy Rear Admiral (1906-1992)

Let the adventure begin.